Moving Outside the Lines

"Would I be welcomed? I don't know if I have the right clothes?"

These were a couple of the questions that arose from a recent conversation.

 I had noticed "H----" through the locked double glass doors of our church facility. He had wedged his overflowing shopping cart of belongings between the utility shed and a parked car. He was sitting on the ground, rifling through some of his "stuff". I could see that he was angry. He was shouting at no one in particular and pounding his fist into the pavement of our parking lot. 

To be transparent, my first thought was "just stay inside". 

I'm thankful that my life doesn't move on first thoughts. I am more thankful for the impression of the Spirit of Jesus, to compel me to go out to him...or should I say, to be received by him: I assured him that he wasn't in trouble and that I could see that he was distressed and just wanted to find out if there was something I could do to help. I gave him my name and let him know that I would be moving around him to grab the garbage cans behind the shed, as it was garbage night.  

"Can I offer you a bottle of water for now?"

"Yes. Thanks."

"No problem. I'll move the garbage cans, then I'll grab you a bottle of water."

"Can I help you do that?", said "H----". 

"That would be really helpful. Thank you very much."

After taking out the garbage, I grabbed a bottle of water and popsicle, and we sat across from one another and we talked. Well, he talked and I mostly listened, with a question placed by the Spirit of God, here and there.  I asked him if he felt safe in our parking lot, to which he nodded in agreement. I assured him that myself, our staff, and our neighbours would ensure his safety, we wouldn't send him away or chase him off. He was welcomed...

Our tattered broken asphalt of a parking lot became holy ground. And he said this: "I knew it...I knew this space was different from the time I stepped on here."

(I wish I understood that sensation or feeling that he described...I don't...it's something we talk about, it's something we ask God to do for our neighbours and neighbourhood, but it's not something that I can necessarily sense.)

And then his hardness broke...his tears flowed as he wondered why the anger could so quickly leave and be replaced by an overwhelming sense of gratitude. He's hardly ever been welcome anywhere.  He told me that he had just been taken advantage of by his "friends", who stole his phone and kicked him out of the place he was staying. His anger was at being victimized "again". He was mad at himself. And then he started to tell me about a long series of things that have happened to him, for which he mostly blamed himself, including the addictions of his mom that led to him moving from foster home to foster home. 

He felt worthless, used and used up. He asked what the date was. When I told him, it reminded him that his birthday was a week ago...he hadn't felt safe enough to share that with anyone else. It had been a long time since he had a simple conversation. 

Did he know he had worth, and value and purpose that could yet be discovered? Did he know that it is was possible to have renewed strength and perseverance to make God honouring choices each day? Did he know the difference that a life learning to respond to the love of Jesus could make, for the way you feel about yourself and how you treat others?

So often, whether it's my personal space and time, or in my role as pastor, I can concern myself with what happens within the very clearly defined lines of expectation and comfort and preference.  Thanks be to God for the abundant grace to move outside those lines, erase the margins and discover so much more about the love of Jesus for all the people of the world. 

When we move outside the lines, outside of the biases and inherent restrictions of our communities, we create more space for welcome, conversation and discovery of the depth of love that God has for the broken, hurting, lonely, hungry and lost. 

This kind of hospitality, this welcoming kind of love isn’t just words or rhetoric, it is life. The need to be intentionally invested in the lives of others, which is different than just being physically present in the same room, parking lot or even part of the same group – the need to be intentionally invested in the lives of one another, is something that God has created us for, and the manner that Jesus exemplified. He moved outside the lines to be with us. 

***

Let me share with you a little more about what I mean. 

 

In May 2024, as were waiting to cross the street at an intersection in downtown Los Angeles, my wife turns to me and asks: “Are we going to die?”

 

She was looking ahead to our destination where a significant group of large men, tattoos all over their bodies and faces were lifting weights behind the chain linked fence. We were on the outside edge of Chinatown, staying in a hotel nearby, and on our way to see a Los Angeles Dodgers home game. 

 

A few minutes earlier, when we informed the parking attendant and the lady at the counter of the hotel that we were planning to make the 20 minute walk to the stadium, they both responded with looks and comments that drew heavy with hesitation. These did not help prepare my wife for this situation. 

 

My reply: “I don’t think so?”, probably didn’t provide much comfort, as we made our way across N. Almeda Street. From there we turned and made our way past the fenced-in weight training yard, and into the front doors of HomeBoy Industries. 

 

When looking up directions for the hotel, I noticed that just a block and a half from where we were was the headquarters for this lifechanging ministry that has impacted my life and by extension, our ministry as the SEMC. HomeBoy Industries is a non-profit organization that was started by Father Gregory Boyle (a Jesuit Priest), over 30 years ago. They are dedicated to welcoming and helping gang members and ex-convicts make transformational change in their lives. Father Boyle’s writings, in particular his first book, Tattoos of the Heart is incredibly challenging and inspirational. Here he speaks of the powerful potential made possible through this welcoming and hospitable posture of love: 

 

“Only kinship, inching ourselves closer to creating a community of kinship such that God might recognize it. Soon we imagine, with God, this circle of compassion. Then we imagine no one standing outside of that circle, moving ourselves closer to the margins so that the margins themselves will be erased. We stand there with those whose dignity has been denied. We locate ourselves with the poor and the powerless and the voiceless. At the edges, we join the easily despised and the readily left out.  We stand with the demonized so that the demonizing will stop. We situate ourselves right next to the disposable so that the day will come when we stop throwing people away…

 

Kinship is what God presses us on to, always hopeful that its time has come.”

(Tattoos on the Heart, Father Gregory Boyle, p. 190)

 

As impressive and challenging as they sound, those are words on a page. 

 

As we entered through the glass doors of HomeBoy Industries, my desire was to see if those words were true. It was just past 3pm, the café had closed as did the retail store. The tours of the facility had also just been completed.  There was a lot of coming and going all around us, and up and down the staircase to the second level. 

 

“Welcome to HomeBoy Industries”. Came the voice from behind the desk.  A young man stood and greeted us. It was likely self evident that we were visitors and strangers to the place. I introduced myself to him and just shared my appreciation for Father Boyle’s writings and how I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to come in person before heading to the ball game. 

 

He apologized to me that Father Boyle wasn’t there at the moment, but that he would be willing to answer any questions we had. He also invited us to take a tour the next day if we were available.  Unfortunately, our flight time meant we had to leave earlier than the first tour.  Instead, we engaged in conversation. By asking questions and listening to one another, I was welcoming him into my world, and he was welcoming me into his. 

 

He shared how he had been connected to HomeBoy Industries since 2008 but came and went. When he went, he went back to the gangs and he ended up back in prison. 5 times he went to jail.  He realized that though he knew he needed to make changes in his life, he never really wanted that change, until now.  He also realized that he never really wanted to be known. So this time, he’s abandoned his gang name and insists on using his given name, Medron.  He’s been clean, and part of the family since 2022, and he’s putting his life in order. 

While talking to him a young lady came over. Her name is Julisa. In taking time to listen to her story, we learned that she grew up in an abusive home with alcoholic parents.  She wondered why no one would help them. She was molested by a family member at a young age, and turned to alcohol and drugs to numb her from the pain. She joined a gang as a young teen and ended up going to prison.  She spoke of coming to HomeBoy Industries five years ago, knowing she couldn’t keep going the way she was.  She has since completed her highschool equivalency, and has begun a degree in psychology.  She now works for HomeBoy Industries, as an assistant for Father Boyle.

It didn't end there.  The next morning we had a just a few minutes to go again, before we headed to the airport. We stopped in to HomeGirl Cafe to get some freshly baked goods and a coffee and then we squeezed into the main room through the double doors. We were there on time for the morning meeting. It was awesome!!  It was packed out, and there was enthusiasm with each announcement and presentation. 

3 takeaways from the morning meeting::

1. One of the biggest cheers happened when they announced the doctors who were on site to do tattoo removals today. 

2. A guy stood up at the back during sharing time to say : “True wealth is being content with little.”

3. The ex-inmate who served us at the cafe, turned and then gave me a napkin and quietly said “hey bro, you gotta little booger hanging there” :)

 

They showed us the power of the welcoming, making room, hospitable kind of love that Jesus models and calls us to follow; you could feel undeniable presence of that love throughout the building.  So, we didn't actually die, but hopefully a little more of our "self" died, and more of Jesus is taking hold of our lives. 

***

Before "H----" and I parted ways, he asked about attending a church service, and how he should dress. I assured him that he would be welcome (by most...not all...but most...we're all still learning to move outside our lines). We then spent some time talking about ways that he could be mindful of the love and truth of Jesus on a regular basis. Before I left he began writing in a journal he pulled out of one of his piles. 

"Would you be willing to share with me a little of what you're writing?", I asked. 

"I want to remind myself that today isn't a bad day; in fact it's a wonderful day, despite everything else that has happened.  I want to remember this peace that I have experienced. I'll likely need to remember it again, in time to come."

When we move outside the lines Jesus is waiting, leading and He has so much more to teach us.